Some Marriage Tips From a College Student

 I am not married. I am dating a boy and we are going to get married but not for a while. But besides that, this weeks class discussion was really interesting and eye opening for me as a not married person.

As people and human beings I feel like its only natural to have that urge to have sex. The body has chemicals that are released when physical things are happening and they feel super great. We talked about sex within marriage and keeping it between man and wife and not having sexual relations with others outside of the marriage.

Having fidelity is so so important. The first thing that was brought up in class was pornography and the increasing issue it has become in todays society. Personally I had to agree with one of my classmates who said that if someone watches porn, it is pretty much a form cheating. Dating someone and knowing that they are getting sexual pleasures from images of other people would be a difficult thing to get over. And the fact that porn is so harmful not only to the mind but also the real relationship at hand.

Pornography robs us from joy and can wreck marriages. It objectifies people and numbs us to the thrill and reality of the in person connection of physical intimacy.

With porn being so easily accessed these days, most, if not everyone, has been exposed to it. It truly is everywhere. Online with websites and social media platforms is probably the most obvious. There are magazines still out there that are pornographic. Movies are littered with sex scenes and vulgar suggestive dancing. Literature and other books of sorts can have pornographic messages that excite the imagination. This all creates an unrealistic view on something that is supposed to be so sacred and special between two people in love.

In class we talked about a butterfly conservatory that created a fake butterfly. Most female creatures are the dull colored ones whereas the males are very colorful and exotic looking. Well here they created the female to be absolutely gorgeous and be the picture perfect image of the kind of female butterfly males would be most attracted to.

So during mating season, the conservatory put this fake perfect female butterfly out with all the other butterflies during their mating season. Of course when the male butterflies say this gorgeous female come around they all swarmed her and she couldn’t even be seen anymore because there were so many male butterflies surrounding her. Because the males were so entranced by this fake butterfly, they didn’t even notice the real female butterflies.

That is how porn is. It gives fake or false expectations of what it is like. It totally messes with the brain and is some serious dark shiz no one should partake in.

Something else we talked about in class that was super fascinating was relationships outside of the marriage. I have actually talked to many people before taking this class and they would agree that any issues that happen in the relationship should not be talked about willy nilly.

In marriage, issues always come about. People change, situations arise, and sometimes things are said and done that aren’t or shouldn’t have been said. Of course when things happen that make us upset, we want to tell our friends or our family. That is the wrong approach to solving the issue.

When you tell a friend of yours that your partner did something to upset you, they are most likely going to take your side on the situation. And if you are constantly telling the same people about these things that your partner is doing that frustrate you, they are going to start to gain ill feelings to the one you are married to. That is such a sad and unhealthy situation.

The adult, mature, and even healthy thing to do would be to have that conversation with your partner. Let them know straight up how you feel about what they did and just be open and honest. Communication really is the key and is so important to practice throughout the relationship.

Your spouse should be your best friend. You should be able to bring up things that bothered you and also be open to listening to when they come to you for concerns. It takes two to tango.